this exploration of whether its meant to punish or heal

“And I, it didn't feel like I knew they were healing the trauma that I'd just been through, because going under a train is like a heck of a dramatic and finer experience. And my body had been shaken to complete exhaustion, but they felt more like they were the healing, all the years of, of damage and emotional damage and hurt that I carried with me, as we all do, you know. We can't escape that. We've all been hurt through our younger years. And though it's like they're taking all that away from me, and I, it was just my complete soul that was being healed. And I was feeling at one. And it was, I'd never felt so good in the whole of my life. So I'd never experienced that feeling. And it was just, it was unconditional love that they were giving me.”10:35

“It was like I understood why they did what they did, so there was no, it's like, and that feeling of unconditional love is not even a feeling of forgiveness towards those that hurt you. It's beyond forgiveness. It's like I understand why you did what you did, and therefore there's nothing to even forgive because when I understand you, to me, it means you haven't even done anything wrong.”0:38

“I found myself not only forgiving her there, they're actually, after seeing everything so clearly and seeing why she was the way she was and who she really was on a soul level, after seeing that there wasn't even a need to forgive her. It was just a big, 'Oh, I get it now.' So if I had committed a loving action, it was like love upon love upon light. A purely loving action was the most wonderful thing that I could ever achieve in my life.”0:54

“And it was such a sense of, wow, all the things that I was, I was fighting and holding back, there was absolutely no reason for me to have been doing that the whole time. I didn't have it in a very, um, healing sort of way. Now, there wasn't any crimination mode. There was no, there was no narrator anymore. It was just the sense of, of, of total oneness with with the totality.”21:53

“And there was this whole healing aspect and understanding of like what I needed and what I was, like how I was this pure loving form, and how thoughts affected things.”25:00

“I didn't actually feel like they were healing my body. I felt like they were healing my soul, and I felt like they were healing all the hurt and the shame and guilt that I've been carrying. It's like all the layers have been literally peeled off me.”49:14

“Funny thing, it was not scary; it was very healing. There was something about this dark void that was drawing for me and giving to me in some way and balancing me in some way that I cannot explain it totally, but it was a positive experience.”1:01

“I didn't actually feel like they were healing my body. I felt like they were healing my soul and I felt like they were healing all the all the hurt and the shame and and guilt that I've been carrying. It's like all the layers have been literally peeled off me.”6:42

“I found myself not only forgiving her, there were, they're actually after seeing everything so clearly and seeing why she was the way she was and who she really was on a soul level. After seeing that there wasn't even a need to forgive her, it was just a big, 'Oh, I get it now.' So, if I had committed a loving action, it was like love upon love upon light. A purely loving action was the most wonderful thing that I could ever achieve in my life.”0:54

“I felt like any pain that I had experienced in my life and any holds that were a part of my soul were just being filled in and healed, and it felt wonderful.”27:50

“I found myself not only forgiving her, there was, they're actually, after seeing everything so clearly and seeing why she was the way she was and who she really was on a soul level, after seeing that there wasn't even a need to forgive her. It was just a big, 'Oh, I get it now.' So if I had committed a loving action, it was like love upon love upon light. A purely loving action was the most wonderful thing that I could ever have achieved in my life.”0:54

“I felt an immense peace, as if all the weights of my life had dissipated. These beings showed me moments of my life not to judge me, but to make me understand the impact of my choices and actions.”0:29

“When this exchange was over, we both felt understood and loved. I can't explain the depth of the healing.”5:44

“And so for me, that was very healing because I think sometimes as humans, we can see things don't work out or work out, or maybe people don't see our true intention or things. It's life. And for me, when I, that was revealed to me, that just was very healing and calming.”19:09

“And so, and that brought me peace. Like, like people when they have near-death experiences, they speak of the beauty, maybe they see Jesus or a religious figure that they feel very close to. I didn't get that. What I felt, or, or they see beautiful skies and things like that and, uh, I didn't get that. What I get, my beauty was being relieved of all of the burdens I was carrying through life is that I felt like everything made sense now. Anything I was shameful of or I regretted, it didn't matter anymore because I understood it and I learned from that experience.”23:58

“I found myself not only forgiving her, there was, there actually, after seeing everything so clearly and seeing why she was the way she was, and who she really was on a soul level, after seeing that there wasn't even a need to forgive her. It was just a big, 'Oh, I get it now.' So if I had committed a loving action, it was like love upon love upon light. A purely loving action was the most wonderful thing that I could ever achieve in my life.”0:53